suddenly i'm like so sad really i've been that close just one small step and i can go screw it up and say bye bye to that rare opportunity which not everyone can easily get and next year it will prove to be a harder year and lesser chances or in fact negligible or no chances at all not that my results are helping and yepps nothing can help now i loathe interviews cos whatever i do the end result will be me failing them and i hate hate hate v day it's lousy it's the jinx day tskkkk