i was rereading my post about the camp and i realised how pissed i had felt last time maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of stuff i cannot socialise with others i cannot do work i just cannot liek do anything so what's the use for going to camp again this year i'll just make everyone so pissed or i'll get so pissed myself so what's teh use harhh harhhh yeppps yeppps it's a whole load lame stuff i don't want to make myself fell so demoralised or feel so useless or feel so bi shi-ed that yepps i shouldn't even exist in this world yepps why would i put myself to all these kind of pissifiying stuff when i could just say at home catch up on my math catch up on cca catch up on everything totally yeppps i don;t deny i did learn something from it but yeppps the times when i got so pissed off and so offended that i just want to turn back and go home and fa pi qi or cry blah blahhh these times totally outweigh everything even all those niceness about doing behind the scenes stuff and blah i'm just escaping i know but you all just don't understand you all never see it de ohh kayyy you think it's so easy right not like i want it de ohhh kayyyy it's so pissifying i came to china to escape de ohh kayyy from all the stupid deadlines and all those cannot understand de math it's not like i don't like the camp ohh kayyy i want to go at least you will not be the ones participating in the camp but those people in charge but i don't want to put myself to that kind of lame things again people just don't understand and because of that i don't even want to go jc can i just find some all girls' jc and go study in it why must the opposite sex exist so frustrating pui

kayyy lalala back to nicer stuff in china yeppps anyway no one will care de especially about me and blahh but so anywayyy china hmmm i'm trying hard to keep awake yepps i'm trying my best then now in beijing hmmm the school totally is so strict and has so much discipline de totally cannpt stand it hmmm but this is still good larhhh maybe in some ways i don't know larhhh i'm rambling whatever no one will care de trying to do reflections which i have nothing to write about except some negative stuff blehhhs and have to do teh bsp thing tooo blahhhh what am i talking about pui i don't understand blahhhhh it's always like that de whatever no one will bother about me anywayyy so yeppps why am i stilll here in this sickening blog typing so much stuff when no one will even bother to read yeppps i know i'm being very lame blehhhhs i shall remember to delete this blog one day

yepps finally removed my tagboard this is to minimize future cases of emo-ing

gao ceng people are very scary i'm so scared of them this is not sarcasm yepps
i don't seem to understand their point of view
and evidently they don't seem to understand mine either

i discover my ang moh is totally terrible yepps i can name a fruit blender as a bleacher and a hard cover book as hard copy and paperbacks as soft copies yeppps right wonderful powderful angmoh oh wow

i seriously hate my temper and attitude yes i know it's stupid stupid attitude stupid temper

maybe i should prepare some ice so when i'm like super pissed off then maybe i can eat some and hopefully it's better

cca you are ridiculous
once again that little flame of love for you has died off
yes or maybe you don;t even need my little love at all
it's not important to you
there are so much more people who are willing to give all their heart to you
so yepps

i'm randomly speaking of random stuff

like i once said yes gao ceng people you all can be so busy so stressed so blah blah and you can complain and rant and blah and telling people to come try their lives if they want blah blah

but in the end don't deny you've never enjoyed the process at all you all did have fun ohh kayyy did enjoy yourself put in your heart and soul and then you really made the best out of it and eventually the ending's sweet and nice and you'll have such nice nice memories blah blah

i'm going to die soon i don;t understand math at all and yepps you all can go tell me to study to read it all again to blah blah blah

but you don't know how it feels it's not just some simple formulas like pythagoras or some area or volumes of some random shapes which you can just go memorise all those formulas and just put it into use

it's not ohh kayyy so what if you know all those what trigo formulas and what identities yepps you know but then you just can;t put it into real applications right and you can go try when yepps you've got this raw thing and then you attempt to simplify it by using all those identities blah blah but in the end you just stare and stare and star and simply just don't understand how to continue

ahh yepps you all don't understand de you all are too pro le yepps i's stupid that's right

and it's not just that oh kay please be reminded i literally gave up this whole trigo unit last year for eoys and hoping these kind of questions don't come out or i'll seriously fail

it's the trauma oh kayyy i thought i'll be free from trigo and now they want to come popping out again and expect us to know about them

yepps i know you all knew about them le i don;t oh akyyy i never intended to understand them last year let alone this year i just don;t understand ohh kayyy

why do i keep getting random tchers from last year till now kayyy maybe i'm just not used to their teaching-the-pros method yepps because i'm stupid

yepps yeppps

and now really i don;t even want to go to school and that's why i'm glad to go china

yepps you all don;t have the mood yet cos you all have a lot of commitments what i don;t have i just feel sian and i don't want to rush my hw out so then i just want to drag yepps

i've totally changed ohh kayyyy last time i was so enthu about jap and all that and will feel guilty if i fall asleep in classes and now i'm like totally sleeping half my lessons off

why can't i just don't go to school

a lot of stuff to do evidently but then suddenly after staring at my dead dead dead tagboard i had this very hmm feeling yepps it's like after so many things after csm after lizi's card after cca it's always this kind of hmm sad? or left out feeling larhhh

it's funny how i can know so many people for four years (and they don't necessarily really know me) and i can only become close to those few among the many
which is yes kind of sad

and like i've always lament i've never had fixed fixed friends yepps lunch buddies project mates or whatsoever but there always seems to be no one whom i can always turn to go out with or have random activities or blah be it after eoys or after csm or what after random half day stuff it always ends up with me going home yepps home home where i'll sleep my day off yepps that's how bored or how sad or what how lonely i've become

hmm and at least in pri school i can still go out and play badminton with some group of people yepps at least i'm kept involved or what entertained?

yepps yepps even though staying at home is nice with tv and my lovely bed and pillows and such but still the feeling whereby you don't even have people to go out with you know

sec sch already like that le yepps jc pui it's not going get any better and maybe when i'm in jc le i won't even bother to go socialise and hi hi people so in the end i will just become some unknown person whom people doesn;t even know exist

and yeppps isn't that the ddiao kind of life i have always wanted hurhhhh utopia yarhh

blehhs i don;t want to cross the bridge le

lala i've always wanted to do all these kind of quizzes which always appear in my email inboxes last time wahahah and in the end i did none of them cos of one reason or another and yepps shall do one now from yuwen's blog there lalala since i'm still feeling a bit the erhurmmm lalala despite knowing i've got so much stuff to do yepps

1. At what age do you wish to get marry?
EHHH BLEHHHS LIKE I CAN GET MARRIED LIKE THAT PUI

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boyfriend?
BLEHHHS MY FAMILY LARHHH MOST IMPORTANT OHHH KAYYYY
AND PLUS I'VE GOT NO BOYFRIEND SO HOW DO I GAUGE BLEHHS AIYARHHH EITHER WAY BOYFRIENDS ARE STILL NOT AS GOOD BAHHH YEPPS

3. Who is the person you trust the most?
EHHH WHAT MY MAMA (((:

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
EHHHHH NO DEFINITELY NO BLEHHHHS

5. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
AND LET'S WAIT UNTIL THAT DAY FIRST AND MAYBE I SHALL DECIDE THERE AND THEN HMPHHH

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
ERHHHH I USUALLY DON;T SEE ONE SO YEPPS

7. What is your goal for this year?
WHAT GOAL? TO GET INTO JC?

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
ERHHHHH PUIIIIIIIIII YOU MEAN FAMILY LOVE HURHHHH

9. Have you broken someone heart that she/he tried to commit suicide?
BLEHHHHS WHO WOULD BE SO STUPID HURHHHH

10. What feeling do you love most?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT FEELING HIGHHHNESS OR WHAT MAYBE DDIAO NESS LALALA

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
WHO WOULD CARE ABOUT WHAT I THINK PUHH LEASE

12. What feeling do you hate the most?
BLEHHHHS PISSED OFF

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
((((:

14. Do you believe in GOD?
I'M A BUDDHIST OHHH KAYYY

15. What do you think is the most important thing in in your life?
MY FAMILY LALALA

16. Who cares for you the most?
MY MAMA AND MY FAMILY LORHHHH OR NO ONE LIAO LORHHH

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words.
EHHH MY COUSIN? EHH EMO? RANDOM HIGH NESS? THIN AND SMALL?

18. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
A LOT INCLUSIVE ALL THOSE TIMES WHEN I'VE PISSED OTHER PEOPLE OFF

19. IF time were to rewind,what will you want it to be?
HARHHHH? WHAT WANT IT TO BE?

20. why?
WHAT WHY COS EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON?

yepps i realise i'm cynical ohh kayy whahahha lalala but who cares no one cares i know yepps so there