a lot of stuff to do evidently but then suddenly after staring at my dead dead dead tagboard i had this very hmm feeling yepps it's like after so many things after csm after lizi's card after cca it's always this kind of hmm sad? or left out feeling larhhh

it's funny how i can know so many people for four years (and they don't necessarily really know me) and i can only become close to those few among the many
which is yes kind of sad

and like i've always lament i've never had fixed fixed friends yepps lunch buddies project mates or whatsoever but there always seems to be no one whom i can always turn to go out with or have random activities or blah be it after eoys or after csm or what after random half day stuff it always ends up with me going home yepps home home where i'll sleep my day off yepps that's how bored or how sad or what how lonely i've become

hmm and at least in pri school i can still go out and play badminton with some group of people yepps at least i'm kept involved or what entertained?

yepps yepps even though staying at home is nice with tv and my lovely bed and pillows and such but still the feeling whereby you don't even have people to go out with you know

sec sch already like that le yepps jc pui it's not going get any better and maybe when i'm in jc le i won't even bother to go socialise and hi hi people so in the end i will just become some unknown person whom people doesn;t even know exist

and yeppps isn't that the ddiao kind of life i have always wanted hurhhhh utopia yarhh

blehhs i don;t want to cross the bridge le